I do not need to know that

Lately several women have felt compelled to tell me how many weeks they or women they know delivered this kid or that kid. That's fabulous and all, but it doesn't exactly help calm my already wound up nerves. I happen to be going to Des Moines tonight to attend a concert, and the thought of for some reason going into labor before, during or after the show is terrifying. How will I talk the nearest hospital into Air Caring my doctor from Iowa City? And Josh? And my parents from Hilton Head, SC? If their first grandchild and first biological boy in the family messes up their tickets to the Masters, I'm in trouble. That's a lot to consider when you haven't made arrangements with every medical center in the tri-state area regarding your care should you accidentally have a child within their walls. Thus, the need for people to keep the early delivery stories to themselves. Although, I do appreciate all of the great scare tactics I've compiled for use on future clueless first-time moms. I'll know just how to get 'em good!