What's your return policy?

This past Saturday Josh and I attended an all-day seminar entitled "Childbirth Preparation", otherwise known to many as Lamaze. Although we didn't hear the nurse instructor once utter the actual word "Lamaze", we were taught a number of labor and delivery breathing techniques and positions that I'm sure at one point in time were defined as such. The class was scheduled from 9am-5pm, and when they said 5pm they meant 5pm. Cramming what is otherwise four consecutive Mondays of information into one long weekend day is serious business. I thought the class overall was fun and informative, where Josh could only think of every possible way to celebrate its completion as he tore down Melrose Avenue towards I-380, as if the instructor was going to suddenly appear in a car next to us and inform us that she'd forgotten a couple of hours worth of information.
The one thing that I did find a bit daunting (ok, terrifying), however, was the short but to the point 1-3 minute video clips of women in labor. We saw enough of those throughout the course of the day to satisfy a person for life. For some reason the producers of these glorious pieces of movie magic find it necessary to make the whole process seem like the most excruciating, mind numbing, appalling turn off known to man, with what appears to be a timespan of a minimum of three straight days of hell. I can safely say that what was once a potentially exciting and emotional culmination of nine months of pregnancy and 1.5 years of bumps in the road suddenly became something that for a brief second I considered asking for a refund on. How is it that these people have the power to do that to a first time mother? I now see the entire experience in a different light, and I don't even know if I should. They surely have to give you the worst case scenario option, right? So that you are prepared for the extreme even though chances are your experience will actually be the amazing start of a new life that you originally pictured?? I mean, throw a girl a bone here, people! Reality or not, I need a little sugar coating on this impending moment, or maybe something along the lines of an elephant tranquilizer. All I know is, I am now officially prepared for childbirth in a way I never thought possible. Bring on the calculated breathing and weird on-your-side-leg-in-the-air position Nurse Scary Lady! No refunds here.